Internal Fighting
by Kudos4U
Summary: Julie has a lot of thinking to do about R and their worlds. This is her internal battle about leaving R and being in the compound. Book Universe
1. Chapter 1

Internal Fighting

Kudos4U

"R, can you please go get gas for the car? We're a couple miles away and I doubt the little we have will allow us to make it. I'm going to wait here and see what else we can salvage to bring back, okay?" She bit her lip and looked at him. What if he denied her? What if he insisted like he usually did of them staying together?

"Hnn…okay. Promise…stay here…stay safe?" He looked at her with those cloudy blue eyes that seemed to get clearer every day questioningly.

"Of course! Don't worry about me. Besides, I'm well armed and we haven't seen a zombie other than you, have we? Don't worry, I'll be here." She walked up to him and hugged him before pulling away, "I'm safe here. I promise that I'll be able to fend for myself while you're away."

Shifting, he grunted and nodded, "I'll…be back." With that he shuffled out the door with the gas can in hand.

She watched him shuffle away slowly, his body occasionally awkwardly jerking. Julie waited till R was far enough away before closing her eyes and moving away from the window. She would not be here when he returned. She thought this was probably the last time she would ever see R. He couldn't come back with him. She couldn't even begin to explain to anyone living on the compound how he is special or different from the rest of the zombie species that everyone has come to fear. Was she expected to waltz in and look at everyone, tell them that R is different, that he should be welcome as if he was human? Julie could picture that talk in her head, "Hey everyone! So no worries, I'm safe! All thanks to this zombie boy named R, he can talk a little and he kept me hidden in a zombie hive airport for about a week. Don't worry, I'm not infected and he won't bite!"

She sighed, trying to push the problem from her mind as she climbed up the stairs to begin her search for valuable things. Maybe focusing on something else will ease her mind. Her mind made it sound like she had to sell R like a product! Considering how nice he's been to her, how could she ever think about bringing him back to a human colony where they would most likely repay him by putting a bullet in his head before hearing her out? She wanted to scream, but instead settled for throwing a few items that she could reach around. She couldn't risk R being too close to hear her and having him come back too soon.

Time passed. Nothing seemed to be of value in this house, and the longer she stayed in the house, the more restless she became. She probably wasted an hour searching. How was she supposed to explain her absence for so long to her father? She continued her search for any items of value, but eventually only came back with a few candles and canned food that might not be so bad. Filling her pack, she sighed before doing one last sweep of the house. Her mind was constantly doing a tug of war about R. Does she wait for him like she wishes she could? Or does she leave her zombie with no warning to him?

Sweeping the kitchen, Julie's eyes rested on the camera. Her look was bittersweet as she walked over and picked the camera up. She could at least say goodbye. Julie figured that he couldn't read, but she could still at least show him why she wasn't there. Decided, Julie aims the camera towards her face and holds her hand up in a mock wave while attempting to smile at the camera. This is her last goodbye to R, and she needed to make it something for him to keep after all. Maybe he can hang it up in his airplane when he returns. In this pose, she takes the picture. When it develops, she scrutinizes it before placing it over the other photos both of them have taken. This is her goodbye to R, and hopefully he will get the message and go home.

Moving away from the kitchen, Julie peeked out the window to make sure no one was around and slipped out of the house. Jumping in the car, she turned the key and slowly started to drive away from the house. She felt like the rebellious teen that she had read about in her books, slipping out after curfew. When in fact, there was no one out here who cared anymore and there was no one to stop her. She laughed bitterly and sped up, she's not far from home. The gas isn't even empty. She'll make it home by nightfall, her dad will be worried but soon things will return to normal. No one will ever know about her love for a certain talking zombie that saved her…

Wait…_love_?

Julie shakes her head, letting her blond hair fly wildly around her. There is no way she could love a zombie! Maybe she had a fondness for him, but only because he saved her! She's only known him for a few days, and Perry just died! He was there too, what if it was him…? She shook her head again. No. What was she thinking? None of this is productive for the world she lived in. She can't love a zombie, and girls don't fall in love with the dead or go after other guys in general when their exes get eaten, do they? Julie pressed her foot to the gas, she better get home soon before she starts thinking that she's crazy!

An hour later, the gate to the colony was right in front of her. She took a deep breath and attempted to clear her mind. R is her dirty little secret on the outside. He is not meant to be here with the humans. We have our own roles to fulfill. This was hers, and once he realized that she's gone, he will return to his plane. Things will go back to the way it should be. Turning off the car, she got out and walked up to the guard. He looked surprised to see her, "Julie?"

"Hi," it was the only thing Julie could offer him as he walked up and tested my eyes. Julie heard the beep which told him that she was clear of the zombie plague.

"Welcome back, we've been really worried. Your father will want to see you." He stepped back to allow me entry.

She looked back once more, she half wished that R was there, just so she could see him once more. However, she would not see him again, and she needed to move on. Turning back to the gate, she nodded to the guard and walked inside. Upon hearing the gate door shut behind her, she said goodbye to her secret zombie lover R. She only had the future that her father constructed again and that's all there was to it.

-End-


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Julie began to walk out of the military area of the compound. She had just got home less than two hours ago, but her father made it seem like forever. He hugged her, sat her down, and then interrogated her about what areas she had traveled in. Her mind tried to work on a way to keep him away from the zombie hive where R lived. While she did hold a small grudge against the zombies that wanted to eat her for lunch, there was still R to think about. That was the place that he was going to return to, and he needed to be safe too. He did keep her safe after all, so it was the least she could do.

She told her father that she only came into contact with the zombies that had killed Perry. Technically, it wasn't a lie. She made sure to point him in the opposite direction of where she went and where R would be. If anything happened to the kind-hearted zombie, she really would be…

"JULIE!" A rush of brown hair blinded her as she was pulled into a hug.

Wrapping her arms around the other person, she slowly realized it was Nora and laughed, "Well hi to you too."

"I was so worried about you! That zombie guy pulled you out, I thought you were a goner!" Nora looked up at Julie's face and started to inspect it for any type of sign.

"I'm okay Nora, really. Let's get out of the streets and go to my place? I'm in desperate need of a shower and there is a lot of information that I gathered while I was out." Nora nodded and they both headed to the big white house located near the middle of the compound. Walking into the house, they walked up the stairs and into Julie's room. Julie smiled; it was kind of good to be back. At least there was food, clothes that fit, a really good friend, and running water. Wait…was she trying to convince herself or was that the truth?

Shaking her head, she opened her closet and chose clothes. There was no way that she was going to sit there in the filth she accumulated in a week and explain to her best friend what took her so long to get back. Besides, Nora was already getting comfy on the bed. She could pick up a book and read it while she did some thorough washing. "I'm going to take a quick shower. I'm gross."

Nora nodded and waved her off, "Just as long as you promise that you come back."

She laughed at her, walked into the bathroom, and got in the shower. Not only did Julie need a shower, she also needed to think about what she would tell Nora. Did she think that Nora could handle the truth? She could barely handle it, and that was the number one reason she left R too! What if she told Nora and then Nora told someone else, who then decides to spread the rumor until her father hears about it? What if someone goes after R? He kept her safe and she needs to keep him safe too! Doesn't she owe him that?

Deciding that she was thoroughly cleaned, she got out of the shower, dried off, and put on pajamas. _Might as well be comfy after my adventure_, she decided. As one last step, Julie brushed her teeth and threw her blonde hair back into a messy pony tail before walking back into her room. Sitting on the bed, she waited patiently for Nora to realize her presence.

Nora didn't even finish the page she was on. Putting the book down, she inspected her friend. "So…where did you go? What took you so long to get back to us? How did you lose that zombie group that grabbed you? I thought you were a goner for sure."

Julie grimaced, that was probably what she thought too when R grabbed her. To be honest though, now that she knows that zombies can communicate, it changed her perspective a little. "Thanks for the vote of confidence Nora. You know I'm fully capable of taking care of myself! A group of ten zombies isn't too much to handle. I was safe."

"Well obviously you're safe! I'm really glad that you are, but how did you get away from them?" Nora continued to interrogate her friend. Julie fidgeted on the bed and looked down at her hands. Does she tell Nora about the zombie that saved her by painting her face with zombie blood and took her to the middle of a zombie hive, where she then lived in an airplane for five days before leaving? Does that story sound ridiculous for people who kill zombies? Not to mention the zombie _talked_ to her? Would that be considered believable? "You're hiding something. Out with it."

Julie looked at Nora, "If I tell you what really happened, swear on your life that you will never speak of it to anyone. This is not something that can get out, and I will never forgive you for it, and you know I'm a forgiving person." She needed Nora to understand the need to keep this secret a secret. No one needs to know, but maybe if Julie shared the story, she could at least have someone who can talk about it with her in more syllables.

Nora observed Julie, she was being really serious. What exactly did she see? What is so important that it needs to be kept? True, Julie is forgiving. She did forgive her when she slept with Perry. Can she keep this secret? Yes. She just really wanted to know how her friend got back here in one piece. "I promise to keep it a secret, whether I'm alive or undead." There, maybe a joke will lighten Julie up.

"You better," Julie smirked.

"I promise."

"Okay, so you saw me being dragged out by the zombie in the red hoodie, correct?"

"Yes."

"So, I don't know if you saw, but I had zombie blood on my face. He gestured for me to be quiet, you know, with his finger in front of his lips. He dragged me out and all the way to his zombie hive in an abandoned airport. I thought I would then be lunch, but he continued to walk me all the way to his home-at least I guess that's what he would call it. It was an airplane. Inside he had all these knick knacks that I guess was collected over time. He had records, novelty items, and other interesting things. I was really weary about him, but he started to communicate with me! Or at least in the beginning it was just gestures. He pointed to his mouth and shook his head while making a biting motion. He also kept his distance for awhile. Eventually he started to use words-"

"Are you fucking kidding me? Did you find some drugs and took them? There is no way that happened!" Nora gave her friend an incredulous look. "I think it's time to check you into the hospital. You've officially lost it! Zombies don't talk, and zombies definitely don't not eat people! We've seen it happen so many times. No way there is a unique zombie that doesn't have the hunger for human flesh."

"I'm not saying all zombies are like him! I had plenty that tried to eat me in the past and while with him, but he did keep me safe!" _I knew this was a bad idea_, Julie thought to herself. There was no way that anyone was going to believe her. "Just forget I said anything." Julie crossed her arms, trying to make Nora drop the discussion.

"I'm not dropping this! There is no way! Zombies don't do anything but try to eat us! They especially don't fall in love or try to save people." Nora shook her head in disbelief. What had gotten into Julie?

Shaking her head, Julie stood up and paced a bit, "It sounds crazy. I know it does, and if I hadn't been there to witness it, I wouldn't have believed it either. Please…" Julie shrugged her shoulders and held out her palms face up almost as an offering.

Nora leaned against the wall, "Fine. I'll entertain you. You have a zombie boyfriend now, is that it? Did you fall in love with him?"

Julie paused a moment before answering, "No, nothing like that. Don't be so crass. He kept me safe from the zombies in his hive before I persuaded him to let me go home. Then I just came back here. What I did learn though is that zombies can communicate…or at least he can."

"Zombie boyfriend," Nora asserted before stretching. "As great as it is to have you back, I think I'm gonna go fall asleep in a guest room. We'll discuss your zombie boyfriend later. Have sweet dreams about him."

Julie rolled her eyes as Nora got up and skipped out of the room. Annoyed she went out onto the balcony to get some fresh air. After experiencing zombie life according to R and human life on the compound, she wasn't sure where she'd rather be. Would she rather be the only one with communication skills, or would she actually want someone to argue with? Sighing, she looked around the scenery. This place had her; there was no going back once she left R. She had to come to terms with that, but something felt wrong about all of this…

"J-Julie?" Julie's head whipped around, searching for that sound. It sounded like R, but there was no way that he could get here. This place was practically on lockdown, and while he could pass for almost human, he still wasn't. Then she heard her name being gasped out and her attention directed towards the bushes.

"R?!" Julie half whispered, half shouted. It was a dream come true, but also her worst nightmare. There was no way either could survive in each other's worlds. Yet, there he was, standing in the bushes looking up at her with those cloudy grey eyes.

He was smiling and attempted to wave to her, "J-Julie! B…big news…"

"R! Just wait right there okay? I'll come get you…" Julie said while turning towards the balcony doors.

"What are you doing? You're being loud," Nora asked.

"Um…" Julie answered, unsure on how to answer. Would Nora believe her now?

"J-Julie…okay?" R gasped out from below.

Nora pushed her out of the way and looked over before looking back at Julie amazed, "Is that him?"

"Yup. Now I'm going to let him in, don't freak okay?"

She looked back down at the zombie. He looked almost normal, and he didn't seem to know how to respond to her. Julie then appeared next to him, and his smile only seemed to intensify. She noticed how the two looked at each other, and while Nora was terrified that he might rip her to shreds this instant, she noticed that he made no move to. Standing there, she watched how they clasped hands together before turning to the house. She had never seen her friend look like that, so in love. Sure she had seen a look similar with Perry, but this was something different all together. Nora would have to monitor this, but maybe her friend wasn't as crazy as she thought. She'll have to further observe this predicament.

-End-


End file.
